Barefoot Wanderings

First Steps on Another Journey

Today was my sons first day of Primary School. Oh how handsome and grown up he looks....but sill so little. This morning I was filled with so much joy. I did not feel sad, or amazed that my little boy was already at school age.

I had already gone through those emotions, that rollercoaster ride, during the Parent Info night and the Orientation mornings back in Oct/Nov. I could not stop smiling as I was excited for him.

I know he was excited and apprehensive. I explained to him that it was OK if he felt a little afraid, a new place and lots of new people. Everyone is a little afraid when the have to go somewhere new where that don't really know anyone.....even mummy & daddy, but he would soon make new friends and he would learn lots of exciting things. He was hoping I would wait in the Hall like I did on the Orientation mornings, I explained that I wouldn't be in the hall but I would be there to pick him up when it was time, and that if he needed to see me he could close his eyes and see me and feel me in his heart as I would always be with him like that.

I think it was quite a big step for him, unsure of what to do and what will happen. Although we have talked to him about it there is only so much you can prepare them and the rest is done in time and experience. These first three days I will pick him up early.... just before lunch.... but still he was quite out of sorts this afternoon at home, most of the time he was Ok but there where times when he acted so unlike his usual manner..... throwing tantrums at silly things, being a little mean, and quite demanding/headstrong in saying he will have things. I know this is him trying to process eveything he is going through. I only hope I can give him the time, patience and understanding that he deservse....I know he certainly pushed me to the limits.

I was told by one of the Carers at my daughters Daycare that she was excited (and I think proud) of her Big Brother going to school as she was quite animated when she was talking to them about it. Those two seem to have a special bond that we could have only hoped for.

First steps for me as well as I have finally gotten around to posting a Profile photo of me and have include one of me in this posting!

Heart

I have just read another book in one weekend, stealing a chance to read whenever I could, I simply could not put it down. So much for getting much Art done!! Anyway, the book was My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult. I can't remember the last time I read a book and had to grab some tissues, and a few times at that! It's a great read. There's one part where one of the characters is in a bar talking to the bartender about relationships. The bartender tells of a fantastic relationship he had and says it was 98% perfect but something was missing. He said if you compared it to a living entity, if the missing 2% was like a fingernail then that would be OK but when it's the heart, well that's different. How true is that, for all things though. For example, if we see great things we acknowledge that fact but when we see great things AND they touch our heart doesn't it make the experience even more amazing.

I was reading Misty Mawn's blog , her self-portrait photos are absolutely stunning. I think it is amazing how she captures something of herself, her mood, feelings, and she's taken the photo herself. She appears not to be self conscious. It really amazes me.

I'm almost 38 years old and feeling neither young nor old, kinda in between and nowhere.
I'm not happy about my weight, not that I'm the size of some people that scare me (health wise) when I see them but still I could certainly loose quite a few kilos!!
I'm self-conscious. I hardly ever think that any photo of me is good, and those are usually when someone has taken it in a candid moment without me knowing.
Perhaps I should just take the plunge and take a photo each day, practice, get use to it, the beauty of a digital camera is the erase button...no-one ever has to see. Courage, I await thee!

Misty Mawn's paintings are also stunning and again she manages to capture something within them, a mood, a feeling, there's just something that seems to speak to you. A friend of mine, Megan, actually purchased one of her paintings, this one, and I was able to see it for real not just on a computer screen. Yes, it was more stunning and amazing in life.

Something else stunning I saw on another blog was this stunning painting by Anahata Katkin. I can't seem to get it out of my head. There is something about it that has touched something in me and I can't honestly say what it is, only that I think it is amazing...and the eyes! It's one of those paintings that I would LOVE to see 'in the flesh', for real......but it is probaby for the best that I can't as I would probably end up buying it!!!

At the moment, seeing other peoples work, those that really move me, are both an inspiration and a deflator. I get an urge to want to create that same piece of art but I know that I do not really want to copy it, what I really want is to create pieces that can do to others what these pieces have done to me - moved me, touched me etc.... but I get overwhelmed and feel a sense of failure before I begin. why Why WHY do we do this to ourselves?! I know, again, it is just a matter of practice & patience, allowing our own skills and style to develop over time. I am learning to walk when I really want to run, and run really fast!!

Another Rock Star Moment....

.....but this time for my 3year old.

Through my husbands work they held a Kids Christmas party. Each child received a Santa Bag with a few goodies and included in this was a Colouring in Competition. Both my children did  a wonderful job at colouring in their Santas and my husband sent them in.

Yesterday we found out that my 3 year old won!!! She was so excited to see her colouring in mounted on a piece of paper saying 'Winner" and 'No 1'. She was truly shining with happiness.

"How Cool is That"!!!!!!

                              

Her Prize....this little wooden toy where you have to rest the balls in the holes and this fabulous skipping rope. We have already had so much fun and adventures playing 'Mickey Mouse ClubHouse' with the handles!! I just love her imagination.

'Fantasy'

For the past 18 months almost every fortnight there are three of us girls that get together to create and share Art. We decided last year to do an Altered Book Round Robin where each fortnight or month we would pick a different theme and create a page/layout on that theme in the next persons book. As it is such a small group it means that we won't get bored with one topic per book and each book will be very unique. It has been REALLY interesting, even just between the three of us, to see how  differently each of us takes the theme and creates quite unique pages. I created the above pages in Megan's book for the 'Fantasy' theme. I usually think about what I want to do and have a good idea of what the end product will look like before I start (not that it always ends up looking like what I had planned!). With this one though I didn't really have an idea what I was going to do. I just decided I wanted to do a crackle background and then from there each step I just added and changed and added until I had this creation that I am really pleased with. It was a really rewarding process as I allowed myself to see what would come out rather than plan beforehand.

Natural Beauty

Last month, I was early for an appointment and was sitting outside admiring this tree. I was amazed at the red....are they leaves or flowers?!...it doesn't really matter. It is what it is and to me that is beautiful.
I haven't had my digital camera for long and so am still getting use to the idea of being able to pull it out and capture moments, it's times like these I am grateful for it and the wonderful husband who agreed to buy it as a gift to us knowing it would really be mine. xo.

A Journey

Today I took my kids on the train to the city to have lunch with my sister. We sat upstairs in a three across seat and the kids were being really well behaved. They were talking about the things they were seeing out the window and asking questions. Yes, they were excited but they weren't talking in their high excited voice just their normal talking voices. I felt really proud of them and I know I couldn't have asked for more. There was an older woman sitting behind me. As I was sitting slightly side on to face the children and look out the window to all that they were seeing and asking about, I could see her just out of the corner of my eye. I didn't really take much notice of her but every now and then she mumbled something.... a sigh. "oh, Blast!", etc.... Then she got out of her seat and just stood there in the aisle next to her seat. An older man got on the train and sat in the seat behind us next to the window, and still the woman stood there. After few more stops the woman got off the train but as she was walking past us she made a comment. I turned towards her and was puzzled by what she said. It was the first good look I had of her and what I remember most about her was her long greying hair that was quite dishevellled, not quite up and not quite down. I turned back when she finished her comment and the man behind just raised his eyebrows and shrugged. I can't remember if these were her exact words but it was something like "You certainly know how to rip a persons heart". Wow! what a comment. In the past I think I may have looked back and wondered what I had done wrong, what was it that I or we had done to upset her but today it was a wondering of what must be tormenting her? what demons follow her? I didn't feel sorry for her and I didn't take ownership of what she said, it wasn't mine to own. They are her torments, her demons. After my initial inner thoughts & questions I just looked at my kids and smiled, knowing how beautiful they are, how lucky I am and how much I love them.

GPP Street Team Crusade no. 4

I'm participating in my first GPP crusade - Rock Star moment!

My Rock Star moment happened way back in 1984 when I was 15 years old. The big teenage magazine was DOLLY. They had one page towards the back that was for poetry. As I enjoyed writing poetry I thought I would try my luck and send in a few poems that I had written. I had two that I really liked but thought it would be best to send three and so added another poem that I thought was only OK. It was this third poem that they decided to publish! Receiving the letter was exciting but the real thrill came after the magazine came out. Being a teenager at an all-girl school and susceptible to what your peers think, it was really big when the response was how they liked it and thought it was cool to get published! Although I probably didn't admit it at the time it was a real high. "How Cool is That!"!!!

So I guess this post wouldn't be complete without the poem....

Title: What Happens After?

Will the birds still sing?
Will the leaves still fall?
Will you still write?
or will you still call?
Will you still love me?
Will you still care?
Who can I turn to
when you're not there?
Will the sun still shine?
Will the wind still blow?
Will all this happen
when you go?

There have been other big Rock Star moments in my life but I'll leave it there for now.

Some Playing

These two collages were done on gessoed watercolour paper using acrylic paints, even the stamped images have been done using acrylic paint. The wonderful flourish images are by GreenPepperPress, the other images are by Hero Arts and Stampington & Co (designed by Christine Adolph).

One Side of Motherhood